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Percy (Logan Lerman) shows Medusa (Uma Thurman) how to get ahead in “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.” |
Somebody stole Zeus’ lightning bolt, and if the king of the gods doesn’t get it back in 10 days, he’ll destroy the world.
What? Over a stupid lightning bolt? Who stole it? Why?
Suspicion falls on Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon (the king of the seas, by the way). Percy lives in a dinky New York apartment with his mom and her abusive partner and doesn’t even know who his godly father is.
The story of how Percy discovers his real identity and makes a cross-country trek to find the stolen lightning bolt probably made an entertaining read in Rick Riordan’s five Percy Jackson novels.
But as a film directed by Chris Columbus, it’s the dumbest, silliest, big-budget fantasy film I can remember right now.
This isn’t to suggest “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” (that fits nicely on theater marquees, doesn’t it?) is boring. Each scene unfolds with such escalating, jaw-dropping badness, it can’t possibly bore anyone.
The acting is awful. The direction is terrible. The dialogue is laughable. The situations are preposterous. And I’ve seen more realistic combat choreography on community theater stages. (Read more…)