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A man named Jeep (Lucas Black) witnesses the beginning of the Apocalypse in Scott Stewart’s angel horror tale “Legion.” |
Five things I learned about God and angels from watching Scott Stewart’s apocalyptic horror tale “Legion:”
1. God may demand obedience from angels, but secretly loves the rebellious ones that think for themselves.
2. Angels’ wings can deflect bullets and slice a man like a hunk of sausage.
3. Angel-possessed humans act just as evil and demonic as Satan-possessed humans.
4. Archangels are a lot like mad slashers. You think they’re dead, but they’re merely waiting to jump out and scare us.
5. All archangels speak with British accents.
God has finally grown tired of waiting on humans to stop waging war, stop being racist, stop arguing about health care reform and what not.
Instead of washing the plate clean with a 40-day, 40-night rain (or, as we’ll call it, California weather), the Lord opts to launch His version of “The Exorcist” meets “Night of the Living Dead” as directed by James Cameron.
He dispatches His angels to possess humans in Arizona and kill a local town tramp before she gives birth to a baby who will re-save the world. The floozy, Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), holes up in an isolated diner, Paradise Falls (metaphor alert!), with her fellow flawed humans. (Read more…)